


Four Times Virgil Didn't Get Along with Patton and One Time He Did

by fandomsandanythingelse



Series: This is Home [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: 4+1, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Arachnophobia, Deceit | Janus Sanders Starts A Swear Jar, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, Step-parents, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomsandanythingelse/pseuds/fandomsandanythingelse
Summary: Virgil's dad has a new boyfriend. That doesn't mean Virgil has to like it.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: This is Home [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884430
Comments: 4
Kudos: 131





	Four Times Virgil Didn't Get Along with Patton and One Time He Did

"Alright, we're starting a swear jar!" Janus said, setting a rather large plastic jar on the kitchen counter.

"What's that?" Remus asked as Virgil groaned.

"Glad you asked, Remus. A swear jar is for us to stop swearing."

Remus tilted his head. "Why?"

"Because you're six and calling people motherfuckers."

"That's bad?"

"Yes it's bad, Remus." Janus pulled a pen and an old receipt out of the junk drawer. "Alright. Hell is worth a penny." At the top of the receipt, he wrote  _ hell=1¢. _

"We're even putting hell on there?" Virgil whined.

"Yes, we are," Janus said, writing on the receipt again.

"But hell's not even a real swear word!"

"I'm counting it. Damn and ass, as well as variations thereof, are worth a nickel each."

"Why are you putting money on there?" Remus asked.

"Because whenever you say a swear word, you put money in the swear jar. Shit and bitch are worth a dime."

"But I don't have money."

"So don't swear." At the bottom of the receipt, Janus wrote,  _ FUCK=25¢.  _ "This is the big one. Fuck, and any variation, including motherfucker, is worth a whole quarter."

Remus groaned and pouted. "You're a meanie."

"What even inspired this?" Virgil asked.

"Patton did, a little, but I've been looking to curb your guys' swearing for a while now," Janus said. He pulled the tape dispenser out of the junk drawer and taped the receipt to the side of the jar.

"Of fucking course it was Patton's idea," Virgil grumbled.

"Congratulations, Virgil! You're the first person to get to put a quarter in the jar."

"Are you serious?"

"Was I not clear? This is starting now. Quarter in the jar."

Virgil grumbled some more and fished around in his pocket for a quarter, dropping it in the jar. "For the record, this is stupid."

"Your complaint has been noted, but this isn't going away."

Virgil went to his room and slammed the door. "Stupid Dad's stupid new boyfriend and his stupid swear jar," he muttered as he flopped onto the bed. He already had a feeling he wasn't going to like it when Patton actually came by to meet him and Remus.

* * *

Virgil started chewing on the clip of his mechanical pencil as he stared at the math problem. Why the hell was eighth-grade algebra so hard?

The front door opened and Virgil glanced up to see his dad walk in with Remus, Patton, his kid Roman, and… was that Logan? He didn't know Logan was Patton's kid.

"But Dad!" Remus was whining. Virgil rolled his eyes and looked back down at his homework.

"No buts. Roman is staying in your room tonight, and that's final."

Virgil looked back up. He'd forgotten that Patton's kids were staying over for the weekend for whatever reason.

"Thank you again for doing this," Patton said. “It’s just that it came up so quick and I couldn’t arrange for a babysitter and--”

"It’s not a problem at all." Janus waved a hand, cutting Patton off. He glanced over toward Virgil sitting at the table. "Oh, come on in and meet Virgil before you go."

Virgil looked at Patton, then back down at his homework. He put his pencil to the paper and started working on the problem. He heard someone walk over to him and barely glanced up when he heard Patton say, "Hi, nice to meet you officially. I'm Patton."

"We've met before."

"Virgil, don't be a-" Janus stopped himself, then said, "Can you please at least say hi?"

Virgil looked up at Patton with a fake smile. "Hi Patton." He let it fall then looked up at his dad. "Happy?"

Janus sighed and scratched at his head with a tired look on his face. "I suppose."

"Good." Virgil packed up his homework and went into his room. There were all too many people in the living room for him to be able to focus.

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at his door.

Virgil sighed and put his pencil down. “What?”

The door opened and Patton poked his head in. “Hey.”

“I’m kinda busy doing homework, so if you could make it quick.” Virgil picked his pencil back up and started working on the problem again.

“I think we kinda got off on the wrong foot back there,” Patton said as he pushed the door open a little further. “Do you wanna start over?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure. Now get out of my room.”

“Virge--”

“I said get out!”

Patton winced a little and closed the door behind him as he left.

* * *

Virgil had a pet tarantula. Its name was Brendon and Virgil had practically begged his dad to let him get it. And he took good care of Brendon. He made sure that the tank had optimal conditions, he fed it regularly, and he absolutely loved it.

And now, Virgil was going to use Brendon against his dad's boyfriend.

Last week, there had been a small spider in Patton's house when they went over for dinner, and Patton had flipped his shit trying to get away from it. Janus had ended up getting it out of the house relatively quickly, but Patton had still been totally freaked out by it, and that was when Virgil had started formulating his plan.

He peeked into the living room from the short hall leading to the bedrooms. Patton and his dad were on the couch talking.

"No, it's okay, I can get it myself," Patton said as Janus started to stand.

"You're thirsty, I'm going to get you water." Janus pressed a kiss to Patton's forehead, then walked into the kitchen. Virgil took the opportunity.

"Hey Patton," Virgil said as he walked into the living room, holding his hands behind his back. 

Patton looked up and smiled at Virgil. “Hey kiddo! What’s up?”

Virgil hoped his grin looked innocent as he pulled his tarantula out from behind him. “I just wanted to introduce you to Brendon.”

Patton’s eyes widened and his smile became a little strained. “Oh, that’s… Hi, Brendon.”

“He’s a real sweetheart, and he loves climbing on people. You wanna pet him?” Virgil held Brendon out to Patton.

“Oh, uh… I…”

Unfortunately, Janus happened to walk back into the living room at that moment. “Virgil, put Brendon away.”

Virgil pulled Brendon away from Patton’s face. “I was just introducing him to Patton.”

“Put him away. Now.”

Virgil frowned and started walking back toward his room. “I just wanted to have a little fun.”

Janus sighed. “Give us a moment, Patt, okay?”

“Okay.”

Janus walked with Virgil back to his room. Virgil put Brendon back in his tank, then sat down on his bed.

“You know that Patton is arachnophobic, right?” Janus said.

“A lot of people are afraid of spiders, Dad.”

Janus took a deep breath and massaged his temples. “Okay. But he’s more afraid of spiders than the average person.”

“So?”

Another deep breath. “How about I put it like this. What if I purposefully dropped your textbook on the floor and said, ‘well a lot of people are afraid of loud noises, suck it up’?”

“I’d be pissed and in the middle of a panic attack.”

“And you don’t think Patton is freaked out?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“I should go apologize, huh?”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Swear jar,” Virgil said as he started to walk out of the bedroom.

Patton was in the living room taking a sip of water. Virgil could see just how freaked out Patton looked, and he immediately felt guilty.

“Uh, hey Patton?” Virgil said. He stood on the other end of the living room from where Patton was sitting, almost afraid to get too close.

Patton looked up and set his water down. “Hey kiddo, what’s up?”

“I’m sorry. For shoving Brendon in your face.”

“It’s okay! I’m sure you didn't know I’m afraid of spiders.”

“I did. I didn't know how bad it was, but I did know that you’re scared of them." Virgil looked down at his feet. "And it was really shi- crappy of me to force you to see him if you didn't want to."

Patton smiled softly. "Well thank you for apologizing and I forgive you. I'm sure that I can… warm up to him, at some point."

Virgil smiled a little. Maybe Patton wasn’t  _ all  _ that bad.

* * *

Virgil waited outside the school building for his dad to show up. His club went later than normal, so he didn't have Logan to wait with him.

But there was Patton's little blue dad-mobile driving into the parking lot anyway. He rolled his eyes and shouldered his backpack as Patton pulled up to the pickup spot.

"Hey kiddo! How was your club?"

"Good." Virgil set his backpack down at his feet and buckled up. He really wasn't in the mood to have a conversation.

"Yeah? Anything fun happen?"

But apparently Patton was.

"Not really. It was just usual club stuff."

"And what does usual club stuff entail?"

"Why do you care?"

"I just wanna know. I'm dating your dad, so I kinda would like to be a part of your life."

Virgil just nodded and looked out the window. "Cool, I guess."

"Virgil? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Something's bothering you, I can tell."

"Oh no, a fourteen-year-old boy is being angsty, whatever shall you do," Virgil said sarcastically. He crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair.

"Look, I just want to make sure you're doing okay."

"Yeah, well you're not my dad, so you don't have to."

"I just said I want to, I'm not doing it because I have to."

"You said that you're doing this because you're dating my dad, so it kinda sounds like you have to."

"That's not what I meant by it."

"Yeah, whatever."

"I'm serious. Just 'cause you're not my kid doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"Whatever you've gotta tell yourself."

"Virgil." Patton was pulling out the dad voice now.

"Yes Patton?" Virgil asked, putting as much sweetness into the question as possible.

"What's the matter? Is there something about me that you don't like?"

"Just that you're a pain in my ass, and yeah I'll put money in the swear jar when we get home, I don't give a fuck."

Patton pulled over and put the car in park. "Do you have some kind of issue with me dating your dad?"

"Why do you care so much what I think?"

"Because I care about you."

"Right, okay."

"I do."

Virgil just rolled his eyes. "Can we go home now?"

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"God, you're not my dad, and you can stop acting like you are."

"Is that the problem? Do you feel like I'm… parenting you too much?"

"Look, you're not my dad, and you're not just gonna waltz in here, sweep my actual dad off his feet and replace my mom." Virgil clapped his hand over his mouth, immediately regretting that he'd said that.

Patton softened. "Oh, kiddo. I promise I'm not here to replace your mom. I honestly don't think I could."

Virgil removed his hand from his mouth and crossed his arms. "What do you mean?"

"Well, firstly, I'm not a woman, so I can't actually be a mother to you. And secondly, I can only replace her if you think I'm going to replace her."

Virgil looked at Patton, still confused.

"You'll still have your mom, whenever you want to see her. And you don't have to think of me as a parental figure if you don't want. It could be fifty years from now, and I could possibly be married to your dad, and you could still call me Patton, that mother effer. That's up to you."

"But if you were to marry my dad, wouldn't you want me to call you Dad or Pop or something?"

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable to do that."

Virgil just stared at Patton.

"I'll tell you what," Patton said, leaning a little closer to Virgil as though he were telling him a secret. "If you think that I'm going to hurt your dad, or Remus, or even you, tell me. I'll go up to your dad, tell him that it's not working out, and I'll leave. You won't ever see me again outside of me picking Logan and Roman up from school."

"Right now?"

"At any time. If at any point in me and your dad's relationship, you feel I'm bad for him, you can tell me and I will break up with him, but only if it's something I can't change."

Virgil was quiet for a moment. "You're either really sure of yourself or you just want an excuse to break up with my dad."

"No. I just trust you to have your dad's best interests at heart," Patton said.

"Do I have to give an answer right now?"

"Not at all. Think about it, and let me know."

Virgil nodded.

Patton smiled a little, then started driving again.

Virgil had a lot to think about.

* * *

"Here it is, first report card of your freshman year!" Patton said, waving it around.

Virgil blushed a little. "You don't have to make such a big deal out of it."

"Hey, I think you're gonna have great grades."

"Can we hurry up, I want to show my report card," Logan said. Maybe whined was more accurate, but Logan would probably kill Virgil if he said it.

"All right, all right." Patton broke the seal on the envelope and pulled the report card out. He looked it over, his expression unreadable. Why was Virgil so nervous about this? It was just a report card. Yeah, it was the first report card that would count toward his transcript, but he knew that he was at least in a good spot with his final grades for the term.

"All A's!" Patton said, breaking into a grin. "I'm super proud of you, kiddo!" He ruffled Virgil's hair. 

Virgil smiled a little and pushed Patton's hand away. "God, Dad, you're embarrassing me."

There was a moment of quiet as the words sank in.

Then Patton's grin grew even brighter. "Did you just call me Dad?"

"Maybe…?" Virgil said, but he was still smiling and damn it, curse Patton's sunshine smile. It was too contagious.

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Patton asked.

Virgil rolled his eyes and held his arms open. “Yeah, I guess you can.”

Patton hugged Virgil tight, and Virgil couldn’t help but think that maybe having Patton around wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.


End file.
